


Chaos Theory

by nickelkeep



Series: 2020 OTP Challenge [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Chaos Theory, M/M, Naked Cuddling, Post-Coital Cuddling, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickelkeep/pseuds/nickelkeep
Summary: Kaidan thinks too heavily on the past, wondering if there was anything he could have changed.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: 2020 OTP Challenge [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589326
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	Chaos Theory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ratafia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratafia/gifts).



> For those of you who follow me because of my writing in the SPN Universe, fear not! I am not jumping ship; I'm not leaving, none of that jazz. Some of my first published fics were back on FF.net for Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and WoW. If you don't want to read anything from those fandoms, just delete the notification and keep an eye out for SPN. I'm not leaving the fandom anytime soon.
> 
> But with the New Year, I realized that I want to do more. I want to expand my writing, and even get back into old fandoms. So, here's dipping my first toe back into the waters. Even if you're not a ME fan, I hope you enjoy it!  
> ...  
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://nickelkeep.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nickelwrites).

The adrenaline high from their lovemaking faded slowly, their breathing evening out despite the litanies still echoing in their ears. Kaidan rolled off his back onto his side, taking a moment to sweep his eyes over his lover. He rested his arm across John, holding on to the man as though he would disappear. Again.

“Kaidan?” John slipped his arm under Kaidan’s head, wrapping it around his shoulder. His fingers tracing small circles along Kaidan’s arm. “You look like you're deep in thought. Be here with me now?”

“I am here, Shep.” Kaidan cuddled up closer and rested his head in the crook of John’s shoulder. “But yeah, I am thinking.”

“I think I have a credit chit around here, how much do your thoughts cost nowadays?”

Kaidan swore that he felt the softest brush of lips against the top of his head. He looked up and saw Shepard - no, John. His John. - looking at him and smiling. Kaidan ached to take claim of John’s mouth. Not how he had his lips a few minutes ago, in the throes of passion, but softly, sweetly. Kaidan tore his eyes away from John and softly replied, “I’m kicking myself. My mind is running on a loop, asking me, ‘Could we have been doing this sooner?’ You said that you realized that you loved back in ‘83, but we were so wrapped up in protocol. What if I had said ‘fuck it’ and acted on my feelings too?”

“Kaidan–”

“No, John, you asked.” Kaidan traced his fingers across John’s stomach, before dragging them up to his chest. He rested his hand flat against where John’s heart lay, imagining the steady beat. “Would I have lost you? Would I have doubted you?”

John’s hand cupped Kaidan’s chin and forced him to look up. “And this is why I said to be here with me now. Are there things I would have changed? Yes.” John paused and traced his thumb along Kaidan’s jaw, lightly catching on the stubble. “But in the end, would I still be here with you? One change from the past can make the future completely different.”

“The Butterfly Effect.” Kaidan nodded. “Chaos Theory. Whatever you want to call it.”

“Exactly. And where I am, right now, with you? There is nowhere else I’d rather be.” John rolled over and positioned himself over Kaiden, who shifted to look up at him. “I want you by my side, Kaidan. It’s where you belong.”

The corner of Kaidan’s mouth quirked up in a smile. “You say it like that, John, and one would think you’re proposing.”

“We kick the Reapers ass, and that’ll be the first thing I do.” John lowered himself effortlessly and stole a fleeting kiss. “I think we’ll be due some R and R after this is over. We could head over to Rannoch.” He worked his way down Kaidan’s body, leaving more kisses along Kaidan’s neck, shoulders, and chest. “Claim a patch of land.” John flicked his tongue over one of Kaidan’s nipples before continuing down his stomach. “Set up our own base of operations. We can stay Spectres and only take the missions we want.”

Kaidan pushed himself up and pulled John against him. “I love the way you’re thinking.” He claimed John’s mouth, softly pressing their lips together. Kaidan wrapped his arms around John’s waist, losing himself in their kiss. “I love you.”

“Kaidan Alenko, I love you.” John draped his arms over Kaidan’s shoulders and leaned in to continue their kiss and forget the world outside their cabin for a little while longer.


End file.
